Key points of ‘Surrunded by idiots’

Have you met people difficult dealing with? Too aggressive, too talkative, too slow, too reserved, too distracted or too quiet?

This is a splendid book to remind us we are all different, and is a complement to the different personalities theories. This book will help you better understand the people around you and why they behave that way.

Divided in two parts, the first part introduces you with the 4 different colors and describe the people’s personalities they represent. The second part gives you tips on how you should behave if you want to be flexible and adapt to those people.

Personally, I’ve found this helpful for my personal and professional relationships, below you’ll find some extracted key points of this book, I won’t describe the personalitycolor types, but rather what you should remember on how to behave for some personalities:

• By adjusting yourself into how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication
• Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people needs is what characterizes a good communicator
• Dismiss personal jealously and complaints, learn to have tolerance to yourself and others
• The people around you most often see your moderated behavior. You interpret a specific behavour depending the situation and make a choice about how to act based on that evaluation — this is the behavior that others around you experience.
• The Yellow comes up with a new idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, and the Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent

FOR RED PERSONALITY:

• If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo — hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time — do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t be upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit. (If you drive too slowly, he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)
• If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there.
• The most effective method for a Red is to establish what the problem is and then just get to work. Simple, isn’t it?
• Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.
• Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you might have to concede, but never sell yourself short. A Red can rattle and rumble, stamp on the floor, raise his voice, and shake his fist. Many people back off in the face of this behavior. It’s not pleasant to be shouted at, is it?
• Well, the worst thing you can do is back away and let him walk all over you. If a Red is permitted to walk over you, you lose something very important in his eyes — respect. If he doesn’t respect you, he’ll eat you alive. And walk over you again and again and again until you become completely and totally marginalized. You won’t be someone to be reckoned with in the future. A complete doormat.
• The best thing you can do is place yourself in the center of the storm, telling him that he’s wrong. When a Red discovers that you won’t give in, he will turn in an instant. If you know what you are talking about, that is.
• Be willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t ask for. As usual, get ready for a fight, but he will like that you are driven.
• Please note the wording in the preceding sentence. It doesn’t say that he’ ll like you because you are driven. It says “like that you are driven.” A Red boss may very well like you — that’s sometimes the case — but don’t expect lots of glowing and pleasant praise.
• If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to demonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain that the results will be better and profits larger if they just consider a couple of small but crucial elements of the project.
• Be prepared for the huff and puff and a general unwillingness to act on your advice. But if you’re good at arguing, your advice will be followed. As we know, Reds are good at pushing themselves to the limit, just as long as they make headway.
• Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at the facts. Facts are something they understand. Since Reds prefer not to look backwards — old and tiring — and focus on the present and the future, a plain and honest exchange of experiences may be called for.
• Give examples of situations that historically were shown to be dangerous. It can be about business risks, going downhill skiing without a helmet, or calling the boss an idiot. Prove things with facts and demand that the person thinks twice before deciding to take on a new project without first having checked the conditions.
• Reds just get angry. It can’t be said any clearer than that. Their temperament is such that it detonates every now and then, causing migraines for everyone around.
• You should confront his behavior immediately. Don’t allow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that you won’t tolerate coarse remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tantrums — stick to your guns and don’t give in.
• A Red can rarely manage to be angry for long. He blurts out what he wants to say, and then he moves on. Sure, he can leave many confused people around him, but that’s their problem. He’s finished with the episode. Then something deeply upsetting happens again, and he just erupts. And again. And again.
• when reds explode they rid themselves of any banger they feel

FOR YELLOW PERSONALITY:

• For yellows you should always smile, laugh at their childish jokes and open a bit about yourself to keep them interested
• yellows are the worst listeners
• These are typical manifestations of a Yellow’s optimism. The problem is obvious. It’s impossible to accomplish everything a Yellow wants to do, particularly because he doesn’t even know how long anything takes. And even if he does ask someone how long it takes, he doesn’t listen to what the person says, because what he’s saying is wrong. After all, the Yellow believes he probably knows best. (inability to have a real sense of time)
• Yellows are difficult to give feedback, you have to provide clear examples, they have a strong defense mechanism, and ears disconnected from their brain. With patience and perseverance you’ll succeed.

FOR BLUE PERSONALITY

• The Blue will be able to quote everything and everyone, and he’ ll always have proof that what he did was correct — after all, that’s why he did it. If it had been wrong, he wouldn’t have done it
• Blue sees all mistakes everyone else makes
• Yellows quickly forget that there were any problem
• Blues can regulate the pressure whenever they decide to